What is "Serenity"?
I think we can all agree that being a parent is the single hardest job on the planet – if you don’t agree, you need to tell me your secrets, seriously.
The amount of responsibility it takes to hold such a little life in your hands is beyond mind boggling. From the moment you first hold your child, your life fundamentally changes; you find beauty in new things, and you get anxious about countless others.
The thing I find most difficult about being a parent – specifically a stay-at-home mom – is that you have to drastically change your expectations of what serenity means.
peaceful, and untroubled
A Mom's Idea of "Serenity"
Becoming a parent is such a paradigm shift that even the tiniest things in life suddenly become important. Every decision you make effects your kids, especially ones that involve yourself. Your reactions to everyday situations will be reflected in your children’s actions and words tenfold. Any negative words and emotion you display become a part of your child’s understanding of the world.
How on earth do we find peace with ourselves when so much weight is placed on every breath we take?
By now, you’ve seen or read countless articles stressing the importance of taking time for yourself as a mom. If you haven’t yet taken this tip to heart, do so now.
I’ve mentioned in previous posts that you are the pillar – the foundation – for your kids. It is upon you that their perception of the world is built. What you show them is what they will come to love and strive for. Show your kids the person you want them to be through your actions, and the rest will follow.
If you want to instill a love for self-care, you have to model that. Make an effort to keep up with your workouts. Tell yourself you are beautiful, and use strong, uplifting words when talking about yourself to your kids.
Finding serenity within yourself is strongly rooted in self-love and self-care.
Chaos is Beautiful, and Beauty is Serene
Before you look at me sideways, consider your life before you had kids. It was probably a whole lot neater and far less stressful, am I right? I can almost guarantee, though, that it lacks the one thing you often forget to focus on as a mom: joy.
Was I happy before I had Kenna? Absolutely. I was content with my chaos-free life. I had a great marriage and a moderately enjoyable job. Life is just simple when you don’t have kids; you only have to worry about yourself and your spouse (if you’re married). Sometimes I miss the simplicity of life before kids, but I’d never trade the joy of parenting for anything.
There’s this intangible, indescribable joy that comes from raising a child – you know exactly what I’m talking about. That joy is the moment that you look into your son’s eyes and see perfect innocence as he apologizes for hitting his sibling; it’s the long night with a sick toddler as you realize that this is the toughest thing they’ve ever faced.
Being a parent is a hidden series of goosebump-worthy moments; the sad part is that we only come close to appreciating half of them. I have to remind myself to find those joyful moments every single day. This is how I find beauty amidst the chaos of teething, sickness, and tantrums.
Finding serenity as a parent involves accepting the chaos as its own interpretation of beauty.
Serenity isn't Impossible
Finding peace as a parent is fundamentally inseparable from your definition of self. In order to see past the messes and screaming, we have to allow a paradigm shift to happen. Each day we spend with our kids only happens once; after that it’s gone.
Every second is an opportunity to love, teach, model, hug, kiss, snuggle, and cherish.
What does serenity mean to you?
Until next time,