Well hello again!
Rachel asked me to make another post; maybe about once a month you will get some insight from my point of view – a look into how a husband and father thinks.
Today I would like to talk about time management and how I do things. A few things to note before getting started:
- I really like videos games; I always have and probably will continue to.
- Rachel may have not ever said this, buuuuuuuuut, she is a gamer too.
This is one of the reasons we get along so well and started dating. That allows me to play more games than the average husband (so I think). This is due to the fact that Rachel will often game along side of me. Not always, but a lot of the time.
Work and Home
I work a lot, maybe more than I should. This is not because I am a work-alcoholic, but more so due to the nature of my job. I am in the IT profession, and I the company I work for has clients across the country; this means I have to put a lot of time in.
I would say I work between 50-60 hours a week. I know many people work more than that, but to me this a lot. I also live roughly 40 minutes away from work. On a good day I leave home at 7 am to be at work by 7:45-ish (I start at 8). This allows me enough time to get settled and go through some things.
I then work until 4:30, if I leave on time (which does not usually happen), and I won’t be home until 5:15-ish. Again, this is all on a good day. I am often home at 5:30 or later.
This all means that I only get to see my daughter about 2-3 hours per day. Again, I know some fathers see their kids even less due to work. The week I am writing this, I am seeing her less than that, due to making up 8 hours over the course of the week. By the time I get home this week, Kenna is already in bed. This is why I do not work four ten-hour days – I used to at one point in time.
There also times I have to work on the weekend or late at night, but I try to keep these to a minimum. When this does happen, I can usually work from home.
To wrap this portion up, I work a lot, but I would do anything for my family. I am the only source of income and I take that role very seriously.
Family time is very important to Rachel and me. When I say family, I don’t just mean the 3 of us; I also refer to my parents and Rachel’s parents. We like to try to spend time with our families on the weekends.
Saturdays we will typically stay at home and spend the day with just us 3. I get to hang out with Kenna, play with her and all the fun stuff I don’t normal do during the week.
Sundays are usually spent visiting my family. We go to my parents’ house, hang out, talk, and eat dinner together. I have 3 brothers, two of which have 3 kids each. So there are a lot of people (and kids) when we all get together!
Rachel and I are generally quiet and are introverts. I’m not saying we don’t like people, we are just very much done with the world by the end of the night.
Rachel’s parents are a bit harder to spend time with. They live out of state and it’s a decent haul to go visit them. I love visiting cause they are like us: quiet. It’s just hard to get to them at times.
Balancing Video Games and Family
Spending Time with the Kiddo
Okay, okay. Now for the part I feel like a lot of wives wanted to read about.
How do I handle being such a big gamer with a daughter and everything?
Maybe some of you know the game Fortnite? I know it stole away a lot of boyfriends and husbands at one point. It stole me away for a time, too. Rachel hated that I played that game; luckily for her, I don’t play it much anymore.
To be fair she hates a lot of the games I play because I like to talk about them (read as: go on and on and on about them! – Rachel). Rachel does not like that so much hehehe.
But to answer the question….. It is super simple: I don’t play video games when Kenna is awake.
It is just that.
When Kenna is up, I am not in the office playing a game, but this wasn’t always the case. When she was still super young (a few months old), I didn’t set that rule for myself – I just played.
Yes, I set the rule for myself. Rachel didn’t have to ask me.
I wanted to be with my Monkey, so I set a rule that would not allow me to play when she is awake. I am well aware that, as she gets older and we have more kids, I will have less time to play – that’s fine.
I love gaming, but I love my family more.
Quality Time with Wifey
During the week, I start to play after Kenna goes down for the night. During the weekend… same thing, but I also play during her naps. Rachel is typically fine with this, since she is usually working on the Blog or a project. She will also play videos games with me. She won’t play the same game, but she’ll be in the same room as me.
You might ask: If I am playing while the Monkey is asleep, then what do I do to spend time with Rachel alone?
Rachel knows all she has to do is ask me to stop and I will. No arguing, no fight. I will just stop. I often try to schedule out things I want to do that will take a long time. This way Rachel has the proper expectation. There are also times where I would much rather sit with my wife and just relax, and this happens quite often.
Okay I'm Done
Well I hope this was insightful… again. Let us know if you like these posts or not. If you don’t like them, be honest. This is a trial thing, nothing set in stone.
Now… a lot of what I said about when I game and stuff can be applied to other things. Some guys prefer to golf or something else. If they manage their time right and expectations are set, I don’t think any issues will come up.